SUMMER COLOURS IN HER DRESS

Her blue eyes sparkled as she shared her new dress, like the bright summer colours: white, blue, red and what else.

It was not only the dress that made her happy. She was happy to be loved and with her husband of more than thirty years, and he was happy to see her in new clothes. Probably She was probably also happy to spend some time with him.

Her voice was full of satisfaction and serenity, with a certain warmth I noticed when I met her.

She was talking about a dress, but perhaps it was not just a dress. What then? Is she continuing her conversation with me? With us? To herself?

She added: "I only saw it briefly; I couldn't miss it".

I said in my usual inner voice:

Yes, it is; it's the life you see; just one second and notice the opportunity, and just one second and take it; take the life in one second.

The awareness of our life is less than a millisecond.

"I saw it, I felt it, I heard it..."

The five senses have magical power if we can use them.

Let the past sometimes come into your mind as a dark shadow; let it go, the shadow of your consciousness.

With or without this knowledge, she smiled at me:

Hey, Emel, you write fast!

"Let me write", I told her; it's the only way I can express my feelings; I am writing about you.

She smiled again, satisfied and cheerful, but also "to be loved", "to notice", "to care", "to look after"...

When the ideas come and go, perhaps her dress would like to smile like her, with its white, blue and yellow; what a summer smile!

When I smiled when I loved, when I was lovable?

The darkness smiled at me. It does not matter; something happens here. I looked down at my black blouse, which was looking back at me out of the darkness, and I looked down at my T-shirt, probably in pain from the compliments.

I wish I could've opened my heart to that black blouse:

You're the shining part of my wisdom; you're the beginning, the end; I said this black colour, you fit me a lot of the time, who cares about it?

To live with you, what I have used you for

I closed my eyes, and a little bit of dark blue light came into the shadow of my eyes. Do I need to say any more?

I don't think so.

Emel Kiliç

10/07/2023

Antwerp